The Sexbag Exchange

BAG PASSES IN CIRCULATION · LIVE

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OUTSTANDING
OBLIGATIONS

Every pass is a promise, and every promise is a liability against one man of finite time and questionable memory.

BAG/USD

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SESSION

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HONORED TO DATE

BEARER INSTRUMENT

One Bag Pass

Redeemable for one act of assistance, at a time of the issuer's convenience, which may never arrive.

SERIAL

SB-4471-0000

Sexton

BAG/USD · SINCE THE PUERTO RICO INCIDENT

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LOW — 42 SESSIONS · VOLUME BELOW HIGH —

Member Balances

Registry Tape

Submit a Bag Pass Claim

If you have performed a service for the Bag and were not compensated, file here. Claims are adjudicated by the issuer, who is not impartial.

FILING IS FREE. ADJUDICATION IS FINAL. APPEALS ARE A GAME OF POOL.

Adjudication Docket

No claims pending. The Bag is enjoying an unearned moment of peace.

How Passes Are Earned

Issuance is at the sole discretion of the Bag. The schedule below is offered as guidance and has never once been followed.

TIER I · ONE PASS

Pre-6 AM airport run. Buying lunch and never mentioning it again. Vouching for his height.

TIER II · THREE PASSES

Manual labor at the house. Drywall counts double. Extracting him from an establishment in Puerto Rico.

TIER III · NEGOTIATED

Services that cannot be itemized on a public website. Settled privately, in cash or in silence.

Member Agreement

1. A Bag Pass is a bearer instrument entitling the holder to one act of assistance from Sexton, of a scope determined solely by Sexton at the moment of redemption.

2. Passes do not expire. Passes are also not honored. The Exchange does not consider these facts contradictory.

3. Passes may not be sold, traded, gifted, or posted as collateral against a bar tab, except by Griffin, who has already done all four.

4. Verbal issuance is binding. Issuance after 1:00 AM is binding and immediately disputed.

5. Redemption requires forty-eight hours notice, a compelling story, and the issuer's phone being charged. Historically, one of the three.

6. The issuer reserves the right to counter-issue a Pass in lieu of performance, creating what economists call a problem.

7. Disputes are settled by a single game of pool, best of one, at a table of the issuer's choosing.

8. By reading this you have agreed to owe the issuer one Pass. It has already been issued. Your balance is above.